is intended for both new and old
brain dead hashers
attempting to Lay a trail to be remembered.
If you want to have
fun, drink beer, and enjoy the camaraderie of your fellow hashers, put
some effort into the "Trail".
your trail is remembered as "a damn fine'Shitty' trail".
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Invest some time for
planning the starting point, the route, and ending location of your trail.
private property should be avoided unless permission is granted.
Police and open
consumption of beer do not mix.
Try to avoid lengthy
straight stretches (especially of pavement), it's boring and too much like
real exercise for the average Hasher.
Plan your intersections,
BT's, back checks, true trail arrows, special maps/instructions, and chicken/eagle
splits. Please don't forget the beer check(s)! Hares are responsible for
arranging a means for the Beer Check cooler(s) to get to the Beer Check.
The Beer Meister will provide the cooler(s) full of libations along with
"el cheapo" plastic vessels at the start of the hash.
Make your trail a reasonable
distance! A long trail isn't necessarily a good trail! Plan a true trail
of about 4 to 5 miles with the duration of 45 minutes to one hour. The
FRB's will run further as they solve and mark intersections, back checks,
maps, riddles, etc and the slower hashers will be able to follow true trail
and therefore get to the end without it seeming like a time warp has occurred.
Do not measure your
length (of trail that is) using a road map, that method invariably causes
trail to be longer than anticipated. Run and time yourself on true trail
prior to the Hash and then do a little math (depending on your pace) to
extrapolate the distance and/or time. The average Hasher will meander down
trail at a whopping 10 minutes per mile, and lots of heavy shiggy will
slow the pace even further.
The start location
should provide adequate parking for the anticipated number of Hashers.
Ask the Hash-Cash or GM how many hashers to plan for if the start has a
limited parking capacity and find another location if parking is going
to be a pain in the arse.
Hares provide the hash
for laying trail. It should be thrown with wild abandon by the fistfuls,
not in pinches hidden strategically along the trail. Two hares will normally
use a minimum of 10 pounds of hash per trail unless there is lots 'o shiggy.
A trail through heavy shiggy, (no routinely trodden path) must be marked
much more often for the pack to follow it. Consider "pre-laying" an extra
5-pound bag at some point along your trail or with the beer check to replenish
your hash supply if shiggy is your thing.
Chalk is provided
by the chalk-meister at the beginning of the Hash.
The expense of the
flour as well as the effort put forth by the Hares in designing and executing
an alluring, fascinating, beguiling and seductive trail make it unnecessary
for them to pay the Hash fee.
wrong with it in the interest of making the trail more fun and interesting.
You may be called into the circle for a down-down (Oh darn!) if it's painfully
obvious that you unnecessarily pre-laid. Lone hares sometimes pre-lay the
BT's for their planned intersections or pre-lay a section of trail in order
to bypass it during the hash. This allows them time to concentrate on laying
a well-marked trail with copious numbers of intersections and BT's. Pre-laying
has also been done with hand-written or computer generated maps posted
on doors, windows, trees etc to add some variety to the trail. JUST DO
IT if you think it will enhance your trail!
Hares are responsible
for arranging a designated vehicle to transport down-down bags, coolers,
etc to the down-down. For an outdoor down-down ensure the driver has good
directions so the BEER coolers arrive in a timely manner! Hell hath seen
no fury greater than that of a thirsty Hasher at trail's end without beer
except of course that of a woman scorned.
Don't worry about it!
There will always be those shortcutting bastards that immediately deviate
from your perfectly planned trail on a "search and snare" mission. Hares
get snared more often than not at TH3, so remain focused on laying your
trail as planned.
When snared, i.e.
actually touched by a fellow Hasher while still laying a trail, the Hare(s)
usually utter a few expletives as well as dole out a compliment such as
"Well done, you *ucking asshole" and then proceed to lay the remainder
of their trail. The snarer(s) will mark the snare point with chalk and
wait there for five minutes prior to resuming their quest. They will also
brag with impassioned fervor of their sublime achievement to any other
Hashers arriving at that location and hold them on station until the five
minute waiting period is over.
TH3 marks as shown:
When the Hare uses
a non-standard symbol or has created a special symbol, elaborate profusely
when the Hash Master/Mattress calls upon the hares for special instructions.
It's considered standard at TH3 that more than three consecutive hash dollops
(smatterings, piles, blobs, splooches, whatever) indicate true trail. That
by no means should deter Hares from laying a nice long bad trails should
they desire, but if done they should be appropriately marked with a bad
trail or a back check mark. The Hare could also announce during special
instructions that "more than three don't mean doo-doo."
true trail and can only be
laid by Hares)
the Hounds and by the
(With # of hash marks
(Used to warn hashers
of a hazard)
||ON TRUE TRAIL
(There may be more
than one on trail)
WRONG WAY ON
CHICKEN EAGLE SPLIT
(Chicken for slowpokes
Eagle for the Overachivers)
THE END IS WITHIN
is that an intersection means true trail, therefore no intersections should
be laid on a bad/false trail.
Swimming is another
example of an event for which a special instruction should be announced.
If there is a water crossing deep enough that those, um , height-challenged
hashers may founder or that everyone will have to swim, then let it be
known. Then those who may have a proclivity to drown can "long-cut" or
cling to a savior.
Other items that
should be announced:
Number of beer
Where the map/directions
to the down-down will be located for those poor "lost on trail" souls
Any special considerations
such as whether the trail has a location(s) where it may be prudent to
not blow whistles (through hospitals, golf courses, & police stations,
When the Hash is A
to B, the Hares are responsible for organizing transportation back to the
starting point either at the end of the down-down or before it begins.
This can usually be accomplished with the vehicle used for the beer check.
Try to pick a legal venue. In the great Commonwealth of Virginia that isn't
easy because it's illegal to consume alcoholic beverages in public. That
eliminates school grounds, playgrounds and most public parks, etc. as legal
down-down locales, although they are among our favorites. To date we've
only been chased out of these areas and haven't been fined. A private residence
is the ideal locale, but in lieu of that choose a venue that is out of
the way, where we can't be seen by a lot of nosy people that will whip
out their cell phone and call you know who.
Find cozy or sleazy or grungy or nice pubs or bars or joints that will
give us a break on beer and food prices and that have plenty of parking.
Find out whether or not they have a bunch of rabid football or basketball
fans that fill the place on Sundays. Don't use it if that's the case unless
they have a separate room or back area where we won't be intrusive to them
or them to us.
The Hash Cash will reimburse the Hares for money spent on chow and related
incidentals such as napkins, plastic ware and condiments. One way to ensure
a good feed is to grill hotdogs, hamburgers, chicken or mystery meat.
Or cook up a big
'ole batch of your favorite recipe, i.e. chili, spaghetti, etc. to serve
up. Be sure to provide several assorted bags of crunchy stuff too. Victuals
don't always have to consist of a cooked meal though. Snacks are an acceptable
food for us to "feed our faces" after a little physical activity, after
all, the intent is to get some food in our bellies before we imbibe heavily.
TH3 sometimes has a "Snack-Meister" during the outdoor down-down season
that will provide snackage. Should the Hare(s) be among the poor and wretched
suffering masses, arrangements can be made to obtain some legal tender
up front from Hash Cash to make food purchases. The "Beer-Meister" will
provide the "nectar of the gods" for the beer check and the down-down.
Other hashers provide Gatorade and water.
Hares are responsible for both the victuals and the libations at the down-down.
The Beer-Meister will supply a cooler of libations for pre-hash imbibing
and beer check(s). Again, others provide Gatorade and water.
The Hash cost each
Hasher 5 smackeroos. Count on 2 of every 5 dollar hash fee being used for
victuals. If 50 people are routinely venturing out to Hash there is 250
bucks total to be spent of which about $100 is for food. So plan on spending
$100 or less for an outdoor down-down. Therefore it follows that for 50
Hashers and an indoor down-down we're going to spend the entire $250. This
is especially good poop for negotiating price breaks at the pub/bar prior
to the Hash. Dangle this monetary carrot in front of the manager's nose
and haggle a little bit for reduced prices. Mentioning specific figures
while negotiating beer and food prices for a mere 2-3 hours of labor usually
results in lower beer prices, ergo MORE BEER. You can also add to your
pitch that often the partying will continue after the designated moola
is spent as the Hashers pass the hat for MORE BEER.
Follow the info
herein and your trail will be remembered by the pack as "a damn fine trail".